A year can feel like an extended month. Or it can feel like decades for which one need tens of calendars instead of one. especially when big changes happen. Often, the individual months during these times don’t seem special at all. But they do add up to some sort of time-jelly that can’t be defined nor measured. Until one day, you wake up and realise how different things have become. Weirdly enough, this happens all the time.

I remember graduating in journalism during the peak of the coronavirus-pandemic twelve months ago. I remember going for a run in the warm sun that morning, nervously checking the stability my internet, the awkward video call and closing my laptop to head off to celebrate passing my final exam. Everything feels so close yet distanced. Ever since my graduation, I’ve moved to another city, took on a master’s in data science, dealt with more maths problems than I have my entire previous life, met lots of new people (by corona standards) and so much more.

All of that was exciting and beautiful yet the past months were some of the most anxious months of my adulthood. It’s only now that I’m slowly realising that everything will end up well. The question is: What makes us paralysed like we’ve been stung by some insect when uncertainty strikes? Honestly, I don’t have a clear answer for it. But I do have some general thoughts on the topic.

Specifically, I want to take you a journey to examine some ideas about the beautifully absurd struggle of life.

Feeling lost ≠ actually lost

Arguably, one of the biggest perks of living in the 21st Century is the endless amount of possibilities we face. There are so many of subjects to study and jobs to choose. A lot of older folks haven’t even heard of half of those professions.

Unfortunately, this also means most of us will feel lost at some point in their lives. It’s almost inevitable. By choosing one path you reject dozens of others. Nobody can tell me that’s not scary as hell.

So let’s assume a certain degree of “lostness” is normal, particularly in one’s early 20s.

In that context, the line between feeling lost and facing self-doubts is not to be underestimated. If you already know what you want to do in the foreseeable future and yet you constantly feel lost the reason might lie a lot deeper than plain confusion about life. Give it some time, do your best and gain some confidence. It should get better. If not, it’s time to mix things up and talk to a friend, maybe even a professional.

Cut back on social media. Seriously!

Sometimes, after a good day, I tell myself I’m quickly gonna check social media to see what’s going on in the big world. Only to end up in despair about life 30 minutes later. One time it’s the huge dump of useless information that stresses me out, another time it’s me comparing myself to some person online I don’t even know. Regardless, it always boils down to me “just wanting to check instagram” for a few minutes.

Certainly, some people can deal with these sorts of information really well and simply do their things. But how good is the majority of us really at dealing with our extended social life online?

While the psychological effects of social media still ought to be examined more thoroughly, there’s evidence that links prolonged exposure to anxiety and depression. From a subjective perspective, social media seems to amplify a lot of insecurities, no matter how deeply they are hidden. Eventually, we have to ask ourselves: Is the psychological stress worth the benefits? Sure, social media connects people but so does a simple messenger app. So why bother with the sensory overload of a full-blown social media app?

Quick tip: There’s an alternative instagram app called “Threads” (Android / iOS) out there allowing you to message friends and watch their stories but without the feed and content recommendation system. I can highly recommend it!

Realise that most things is not that important

There are these quiet moments in life, when time doesn’t seem to exist. It happens while listening to nature, feeling a warm summer breeze between your hair, sipping a cup of coffee in your favourite café, reading a good book or having a deep conversation with a close person.

These are the moments that truly represent what it means to be alive. To breathe and feel reality with all its sensations. In a way, that’s all we have. Everything else is temporary.

Thus, between the stress of day-to-day life, take a step back once in a while and observe yourself from a more abstract perspective. What will truly matter in a few years? Most situations seem much more dramatic when we’re in the midst of them. Though, this is much easier said than done. What can help with abstracting a situation is journaling, talking a long walk or talking to a trusted person.

Life is … relative?

While this article is mostly inspired by a very confusing and exciting year, it reflects some of the major learnings of this time. Everything we do is inherently relative. Most of us operate in such a small bubble that even the most obvious aspects of life can’t be taken for granted.

Once you step out of this bubble – even for a little bit – things might be overwhelming for a while. That’s the point where doubts rise and shine. It’s a perfidious situation that’s almost unavoidable but controllable.

To some extent, that’s the essence of being young. Taking risks to grow as a person. There’s nothing as scary yet rewarding. So go out there and try what you want to try. Maybe also go on that spontanous day-trip. Because in the end, everything is relative anyways.